She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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