i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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