someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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