You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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