there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
