if only i could text you this smell
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize