Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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