He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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