You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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