Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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