3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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