**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
