The maid of honor just puked.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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