Apparently you make a good broom.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize