Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The feeling are messing with the penis
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
