3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
