He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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