The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize