I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We're too hungover to prance.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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