shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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