i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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