Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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