Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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