Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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