ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
