I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
