so that wasnt chicken after all
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
this will be a night to untag.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
