I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
