I want to make a zoo with you.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize