they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
she peed on how many people?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
