Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize