If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
