So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
