he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
