did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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