I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize