so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
