just survived the first fart of the relationship.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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