thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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