Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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