I think i peed on brittanys purse
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I need water and some morals
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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