I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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