she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
