things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
