If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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