my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
