I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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