you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
do herpes really smell.
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yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
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The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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