did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
