You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
This is classic penis vs brain.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize