Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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