dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
