I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
