i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my being single is dangerous.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
