There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
