Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
