bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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