There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
