She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
3pm strippers are depressing
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
