We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize