It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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